It’s Val’s Day today and while some people are going to celebrate love with their girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husband and other loved ones, others are going to ‘gnash.’
Ghana Weekend’s Hajia Lamy Gates has been having a conversation with God on how to live this day.
Take a read:
Father, forgive me. I am a sinner.
-becomes aware of state…continues anyway.
Lord, you said we should come as we are.
(To self): I hope I am not tempting the angels supposed to send my prayers to God🤔…continues
Daddy Lord, I am born in sin. I am a sinner. I have sinned against you, against your temple, uhmmm Lord, I have sinned. Forgive me. Dear God, I fornicated in my dream. Sadly, I want it to be real.
It’s Valentine’s day, Lord and people will celebrate love. People will be shown love. People will have very beautiful experiences.
Here I am with no man to celebrate with. I have orgasms in my dreams than I have in real life. Did you make a mistake by giving me a heart or I am in someone else’s body or something…I don’t know. It’s not fair. It’s not fair…
-starts to cry and talk at the same time
Dear God, by now I’m sure you’re watching me with popcorn and juice with ice on the side. Maybe all this is just a movie at the cinema and you’re having fun watching. Are you enjoying it?
-pauses. Starts to think.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Dear God, I shouldn’t have said that. I am sorry. But I mean what have I done that you cannot forgive me and give me a man I can call my own? What have I done?
starts to cry afresh
God, please give me my man. I won’t sin, I promise. We’ll only kiss and hug. We won’t fornicate.
opens the right eye a little. Stops crying.
Okay sorry sorry. We won’t fornicate too much. We’ll do just a little. I won’t be like the other girls who do it as if their life depends on it. Oh..ermm . No. I have to start all over again. God, I don’t mean to snitch on them. I’m sure you see it yourself. You know everything already but I am here today to beg for my own man. Even if he breaks my heart, I just want a man.
Oh no. I want one who wouldn’t break my heart. I want a good man. Even if he’s not very good, I’ll manage him like that.
-starts to think: what if I was meant to be a nun? No, I don’t think that’s fair enough. That’ll be against my will…Let me not keep the angels waiting. But this prayer… God will think I am not even serious. What if the angels are distracted by my naked body and are barely listening, what prayer request will they send? Well, I’m sure God will understand. -Continues-
Lord, you know what, I just want a man to celebrate my Valentine’s Day with. I woke to no text message, nothing sweet. How is this fair? It’s sad. Please give me my own valentine. I won’t fornicate…at least not today.
-phone rings. Oh, it’s a message:” Let’s do dinner tonight. We can do it at mine or any place of your choice. I’ll pick you at 8. Let me know what you decide.”
Wow. No way! I’m choosing a home. It has to be Netflix and chill. Okay, we won’t do bad things but it definitely has to be home. Replying now will make me too desperate. I’ll reply later…okay after I finish saying my prayer.
-continues to pray with smiles and giggles
Dear God, that was fast. Thank you. He’s not the one I like amongst my five boyfriends but half a loaf is better than none so I’ll take him like that. Thank you. But if you let Steve ask me out today, I’d so love it. I mean that wouldn’t be bad but you, it’s okay. I’ll take Felix’s offer like that. But please give me a good man. Amen.
-gets up from the side of the bed, touches knees one at a time to see the effects of kneeling for long.
To self: let me go and shave. In case I get a new guy on Instagram today. I mean who knows.